Emergency trousers?

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I, like others, often struggle with what to say on the spur of the moment, like when confronted with a hideous baby, or when someone makes me really salty eggs (or, perhaps, more likely, when I make someone else really salty eggs, as eggs and chicken are my worst things to make and I have now made them both for Mr. Cereal.  I have done the opposite of what most people would do-- purely unintentionally, I assure you-- and cooked things I cannot cook first, rather than cooking my best things.  WHAT WAS I THINKING?  Dear reader, I was not thinking at all.).

I like the idea of storing some things up for emergencies--
like what to say in an emergency
and now have thought that maybe I should invest some-- time? money? effort?-- something in emergency trousers.

I like to imagine emergency trousers-- or indeed, emergency clothes of any sort-- as being the kind of thing that could save you!  There you are, you need something to wear for a special interview, an important date, or, the one special piece of clothing you are convinced will cause someone to see you the way you were always convinced they would.  Magical clothing which could save you.  Emergency sweatshirt which feels like a hug.  Big comfy emergency socks which warm you up just thinking about them. Underwear which are so ugly that they will convince you not to sleep with the wrong person.  Clothing that will save you, even from yourself.

And so, maybe it's not new clothing at all that would be suited to being emergency clothing.  New sweatshirts don't hug you the same.  New jeans aren't broken in right.  But the sweatshirt that you stole from your sister and you're not supposed to be wearing is the one that makes you feel beautiful and it's the one you were wearing when something good happened to you.  That flannel you loved that she left under your pillow when she went away to college was way better than one you could buy in a shop...
Old clothes are emergency clothes.  Old clothes soothe you and save you and help you.  I am an old clothes person. I am like used clothes, like the velveteen rabbit, I'm all worn in, but hopefully you love me better for it.

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